Congratulations, you now have SuperSpeed. Not the kind that means you have to wear a spandex onesie and save people from burning buildings—the kind that reduces normal, one-hour laundry loads to about a half hour and change. What will you do with the gift of countless free half-hours? Mostly, have a bunch of free time and wear your freshly cleaned clothes. But you might as well do these things, too.
Or at least, you can half-way do them, because that half-hour goes quick. We call it "SuperSpeed" for a reason.
1. The Half-acial
Ah, the one-hour facial. The skin pros recommend it at least once every season for pore-clearing, zit-zapping, face-moisturizing action. And the math says that with SuperSpeed, you've got enough time for half a facial before your clothes clock out. Guess you're destined to just wallow in your mega-relaxing, flower-scented, confidence-boosting happy place for the other half hour instead of doing laundry.
It's tough, but someone's got to do it.
2. The One-Episode Wonder
Okay, so SuperSpeed means that you're not going to have time to binge watch (or binge crossword puzzle and ponder the meaning of life) as your laundry clunks along. What you can do, though, is watch one whole episode of a 22-to-30 episode season. So that's progress.
Disclaimer: This technique is limited to 22-minute sitcoms, and does not apply to tear-inducing hour-long dramas. Your laundry may finish before you do if you don't skip commercials, so you'll have to skip commercials. Sorry.
3. The Almost Workout
Okay, let's be honest—you're not going to have enough time to work out during a SuperSpeed laundry load. But warming up is essential before feeling the burn (unless you liked pulled muscles), and you can totally do that. Maybe work in some "this took way less time than I thought it would" shoulder rolls as you transfer your already-done laundry from the washer to the basket.
4. The Bean Prep
Making coffee is a ritual. And for most non-alien human beings, it's a ritual we like a lot more than doing laundry. You grind those beautifully aromatic beans, you scoop them gently into your drip machine or French press, and you anticipate your first cup as the smell of pure magic fills the air.
You just won't have time for the whole "drinking" part of the ritual—looks like you'll have to save it for all that post-laundry free time you're about to have. Sigh.
5. The Blissfully Limited Phone Call
Your SuperSpeed laundry is in. You've got about 36 minutes, tops, for a full, five-cycle load. Now is the time to make your annual call to aunt Esther, because you are just that nice. The most beautiful part? Right when she starts putting you on the phone with her cats, you can say, "Ah, laundry's done! Gotta go!" And you won't even be fibbing.
6. The Dance Party
Dance knows no rules, dance knows no limits, and dance knows no sense of time. Think of it this way: SuperSpeed just gave you about 30 minutes of extra life. There is no better way to use the gift of free time than to fill it up with an impromptu dance party. So go ahead and do the robot, we won't even judge you.
But not for too long—your clean chinos are calling. Already.
Photo Credits: Courtney DeSpain/Demand Media
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